Paul Laberge, centre-right, is joined by strangers as he walked from Saskatoon to Lloydminster to remember his father who took his life in 2018 and raise awareness about suicide and mental illness. (Let's Walk the Talk/Facebook)

By Tyler Marr

Mental Health

Man walks to remember father who took life after mental health struggles

Aug 29, 2019 | 10:28 AM

As Paul Laberge treks down Highway 16, his knees and ankles begin to ache.

A semi-truck whistles by and sends a jolt of anxiety through him.

The next morning, he doesn’t want to get out of bed as he is physically drained.

“Everything I felt today is what I felt inside when dealing with mental illness,” Laberge said after arriving in North Battleford.

The Lloydminster man is walking from Saskatoon to the Border City in an awareness effort dubbed Let’s Walk the Talk.

Investigation

RCMP investigating death on Sweetgrass First Nation

10h ago

BDO Debt Solutions

The Financial Impact of Assisting Adult Children

Sep 21, 2024

Moose Kebab

Lost, found and full of flavour: Moose Kebab and Shawarma a new family tradition

Sep 19, 2024

The initiative is heavily inspired by and in memory of Paul’s father Marcel, who died by suicide on Aug. 20, 2018. Paul found his father in the same place Marcel tried to take his life once before.

Paul described his father as a big, humble, smiley guy who at the same time was hurting inside. Marcel was sexually abused as a child and Paul said his father tried to tell people but to no avail.

“He always had our back and would climb over a mountain for us,” Paul said.

But the family noticed a big difference in Paul over the past four to five years.

“He was a very confident man, it could be intimidating at times, but once we noticed a lack of confidence, we knew there was a bit of change, but at the same time, we never questioned it as we never understood what mental health was,” he said.

In the wake of his fathers passing, Paul and his entire family started to reflect on their mental health struggles and work to understand them.

In June, Paul was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder. He finally went to see a doctor after he grappled for months with minor incidents that would irritate him and set him off and struggling with nightmares and flashbacks.

Today, Paul is quite open about the entire ordeal and his experiences. He said while he wants to turn out like his father as a caring, kind man, he doesn’t want to keep everything inside.

“I have seen the mistakes he made by keeping everything in and it really opened my eyes when I found him that day. It is like someone placed a map in front of me and said this is your direction now and you have to do this and something has to be done,” he said.

He hopes and has already witnessed the walk spur others to come forward and talk about their own struggles with mental illness.

Despite facing dreary conditions Monday in Saskatoon and strong headwinds late Wednesday as he arrived in North Battleford, Paul insists he will organize another walk in 2020.

“Today, I could barely walk but it made me feel better about myself,” he said. “I have struggled so long with mental health and I felt poor and had a hard time accepting who I was and had a hard time looking at myself in the mirror. But since I have been working on this walk I have way more confidence and I like who I see in the mirror and I love the person I am now.”

During the walk, an online silent auction is underway. Money raised will be directed towards enhancing mental health efforts in Lloydminster.

Paul said he expects to make an emotional pass by the border markers on Saturday where he anticipates — baring good weather — a healthy crowd will greet him. He encouraged people who want to walk with him to join them along the highway for as little or as long as they want.

—

tyler.marr@jpbg.ca

On Twitter: @JournoMarr