Stephanie Tootoosis will have a pre-release event for her new book in North Battleford on June 15. (Submitted photo/Stephanie Tootoosis)

By Angela Brown

Book pre-release in June

Book focuses on impact on families of MMIW

May 2, 2022 | 5:29 PM

A Battlefords area woman put her grief into words for a new book expressing her sorrow for families of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women (MMIW) left behind.

Stephanie Tootoosis’s book, called Namoya Tepipayin, Kahkkīkê Tepiayin, or It’s Never Enough, Always Enough, is set to be released July 15. She will read excerpts from the book at a pre-release event at North Battleford Library’s auditorium June 15 from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m.

Tootoosis is a first cousin to missing North Battleford woman Ashley Morin, who disappeared July 10, 2018.

May 5, 2022 marks the National Day of Awareness of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women, Girls and Two-Spirit People in Canada, also known as Red Dress Day, so it is timely the book by Tootoosis is being released now.

North Battleford advocate Krista Fox is walking across Canada to raise awareness of the issue of MMIW.

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Tootoosis describes her book as part memoir, with the names of people in the story changed. She chronicles how she dealt with her pain when Morin went missing.

“The book started as a self-help diary, going through grief, and dealing with my situation,” she said.

Growing up in Cochin, and living at Poundmaker Cree Nation, Tootoosis said she has close ties to the area.

When her cousin disappeared, Tootoosis said she did not know how to manage her emotions. So she turned to substance abuse to dull her pain.

“It was hard to live in a town where I knew people were part of the reason for her death. People were walking free; they are still walking free,” she said.

Tootoosis started to reach out to other families of Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women to hear their stories, just as the issue also touched her family’s life.

“I was like an older sibling to (Morin),” she said. “She was very much every day in contact with me.”

Tootoosis related the range of emotions she struggled with when Morin disappeared, and how it impacted her own mental health and her marriage. She said she struggled with an overwhelming sense of loss and pain from not being able to find closure.

She tried to mask her emotions by resorting to alcohol, but realized that only made the situation worse. Eventually, she was able to break free from her addiction.

“There are ways I coped to beat those odds, and to rise above it,” Tootoosis said.

She said finally she decided to look for a more positive way to cope with her pain, instead of turning to alcohol, “which generations have done before.”

Tootoosis told herself: “This is what we need to do. We need to come together more, not turn to a negative way to heal, but to a positive way.”

Today, she hopes her book increases awareness about the issue, and helps others.

“Growing up, I always thought I never did enough,” she said. “With (Morin), maybe I should have watched her closer, as a family member, being like an older sibling. So I was reflecting on that. That was a lot to deal with.”

Tootoosis credits her counsellor for encouraging her to put her thoughts and emotions to paper, as part of the healing process.

“(My counsellor) ended up telling us to write down everything,” she said. “I just didn’t know I would end up writing a book with all those emotions, and that a publisher would think it was interesting.”

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angela.brown@pattisonmedia.com

On Twitter: @battlefordsNOW